Like any other type of funeral, attending Buddhist funerals are solemn and dignified events to mourn and pay respect to the newly departed. For most foreign expats in Singapore, attending a Buddhist funeral can be something new in terms of cultural beliefs and perspectives.

In this article, we are going to share with you the 12 etiquette or the dos and don’ts when attending a Buddhist funeral wake in Singapore.

1. Pay your Respects at the Altar at the Funeral Wake

The first thing that you need to do when you arrive at a Buddhist funeral is to show your respect at the altar. You can take a joss stick, light it, give a bow to the deceased, and then place the joss sticks onto the holder. If you are not comfortable with the joss sticks, it is okay to give a slight bow to the departed. The host (usually the deceased’s family member whom you know), will return a bow back to you. After which, you can proceed to have a seat. Usually in the evening when there is a funeral prayer ceremony going on, you need not to go to the altar. Just proceed to any of the seats that is available.

2. When Interacting with the Deceased’s Family Members at the Funeral Wake

Once you are seated, you might have the opportunity to speak with one of the deceased’s family members. Try to avoid saying offensive or insensitive words that may hurt their feelings. A common taboo that a funeral guest might say is what is the cause of the departed’s death? Usually, we try not to start a conversation in this way unless the host opens that conversation.

Show empathy to the host. Say things that ‘I am sorry for your loss, please take care of yourself and your family.’ Do not laugh or joke too loud at your table, as this may show disrespect to the departed and the family members.

3. Choose Your Attire Carefully When Visiting a Buddhist Funeral

Muted colours like white, black, dark green, dark blue, or grey are appropriate colours of clothing attire in a Chinese funeral. Do not wear bright coloured shirts or pants such as red, yellow, light green, orange, or shirts with ostentatious designs and colours.

These colours represent a disrespect to the family members who are at the grieving stage, and a disrespect to the newly departed. In terms of shoe-wear, put on covered shoes. Do not wear slippers or sandals. It is a taboo as wearing slippers at a funeral means you are ‘dragging’ bad luck into your life. Moreover, never wear sunglasses or a cap to a funeral.

Men should wear something that is considered casually formal; a polo tee will be the best possible attire. If you do not have a polo tee, a muted colour tee shirt will be just fine. Do not wear shorts or Bermuda pants at a funeral. Wear long pants or trousers that cover beyond your kneecap area. For the ladies, try to avoid attire that is too revealing. No low-cut blouse and no miniskirts.

By wearing attire that is too revealing in a Buddhist funeral, it shows disrespect to the deceased. Therefore, if you are planning to attend a Buddhist funeral after work in the evening; be sure to wear the appropriate attire to work in the morning.